May I ask you what you think, and please take the time to think of your answer, to think through your opinion, and then I would love to hear your comments. ..... What does it means to be fair? How about when you want someone to be fair towards you, is it is the same definition? What are you really asking for when you ask for someone to be fair?
As a future parent, or an aunt, or a teacher, even a daughter and member of society I feel like this is an important question, something that should be addressed, something that I can apply in all of those roles I hold. As such, it is something I want to address. So, let's go through a few scenarios and see what you think by the end of this little journey....
when your mother helps your little sister to get dressed and tells you to hurry up and go get dressed yourself, what is the typical response you give, "that' not fair, you're helping sister!"
or how about when feeding time rolls around, you as the older sibling get more food than your little sister who complains that it is not fair that you get more food
These are just two examples we could think of, but you can think of these and the point we get across. From the perspective of an adult, these situations seem obvious, the older child can dress themself and does not require additional help, and in regards to the food, you know that the younger child will not eat as much food as the older child, the food would be wasted if given to them, therefore they do not get the extra food. Yet, what is the child's perspective on what is fair? As an adult what are we teaching our children that fair is?
The concept of what fair is can be applied to many situations. As an adult I had to ask myself if I was applying my personal concept of what being fair was to my personal situations. Are we applying our personal conception of what being fair truly is?
Well, what is fair? To be fair is giving everyone what they need.
In my teaching student's with disabilities class (CPSE 402) we were discussing this, and honestly, it hit me really hard. This is one of those concepts that sunk-in. The next question there was brought up, do you allow the teacher to make accommodations for those students that need extra help? Do you think that it is unfair for the teacher to spend a little extra time with the student with a learning disability, that it is unfair to the other students? Do you think it is unfair to the student having a heart attack that you don't help them because you realize there are 30 other students in the classroom and you believe that you can't take the time away from them to help that hear attack student? It seems obvious when the two situations are placed side-by-side, but do you honestly believe it?
Let me put it another way, think of the Savior, the greatest teacher of all. What did he do for that lost sheep? Was it fair of Him to leave the ninety and nine to go after the one? He did. He went and found and picked up that one lost sheep, gave it extra attention, allowed it the time that was necessary for it individually.
What I need to remember is that this is fair. If we required that extra help, the extra love, the extra time He would offer that to us too. i think of my sister and don't want her to beat herself up because she feels she is not being fair to her other children, the fact of the matter is that you are teaching them, through your love and actions the concept of what it truly means to be fair, to give each that which they need because you love them.
Anyways, those are my thoughts, I hope that as we each go out into the world today that we make a difference, that we are fair to our fellow beings. Have a great day.
4 comments:
Emily, growing up my Mom always said that our family motto was "Life is not fair" because we always used to complain "that's not fair." I think growing and maturing means understanding that there isn't always a standard for everyone across the table, thus making it impossible to determine "fairness." However, while sometimes we have felt like the abused one of a "fair" situation, you are right when you point out examples of Christ or times when our parents had to show us extra love- that may not be fair but I'm sure glad they did it!
but Kalisha, I think that what I am trying to say is that it IS fair when that extra love is shown, that is what we need at the time.
I don't think it is fair, but that doesn't mean that is isn't right. There is a difference.
I do not treat my children the same and it isn't fair to any of them (or myself) BUT I do try to do what is right. I don't always get it right either. Then all I can do is say I'm sorry. Is that fair?
I will keep trying and count on the Savior to make up for the difference. How fair is that?
I had a 3 hour IEP mtg last Thursday on this exact topic. My Autistic son needs extra attention in his classroom. It's not fair on him that Kindergarten is so hard. It's not fair on the other students for him to disrupt things, nor is fair on the teacher to require soo much extra time, effort and work. It's not fair that more money is allotted to his education and it's not fair to us as parents that what is required by law he isn't getting.... This FAIR list goes on and on. In the end we are all trying to even things out the best we can. We give the teacher slack because we know it's hard. He make allowances on Ethan because we know it's tough on him. We understand the other children's feelings bceause it's difficult to see him get more attention. It may take many more meetings and it's all a balancing act but at least we're all trying. and I think that is the key.
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