Getting Nervous, and Excited

Today I went to lunch with Katie and Danielle, and then spent the afternoon chatting about the happenings of our lives. I had a lot of fun, and I really thank them for taking the time to come and let me know that they care, and are excited for me to get married. Then last night Joey and I went over to Mason's to be with an old friend. I really enjoyed myself, we only watched movies and talked a little bit to each other, but it was nice to be with friends. I think that I have missed having other people around, I hadn't noticed it until they were here, and I was doing things with them, but I appreciated them being around so much. I was thinking about it today, and perhaps the reason is because despite that I am SO excited to get married, and to spend my whole life with Joey, I am also really scared. As much as I would like to say that I know what I am getting into, I really don't. No two marriages are the same, and quite honestly, who knows how our life is going to turn out. Perhaps in just a few years our lives could be turned upside down with a little baby, or maybe not for a really long while, or maybe we will move far away together because of other opportunities, or will continue to live in Utah County for the rest of our lives. These thoughts are all scary and exciting to think about. Really, the whole world is out there for us. I am sure it will be wonderful, and I know that we will be very happy together, but the unknown is scary. So, spending time with people I have spent hours and hours with and that I know I can get together with again, and it will always feel familiar was nice and comfortable.
I am ready to move forward, but for yesterday, it was nice spending time with some old friends.

you may also find me at:
http://joeyandemilyfinley.blogspot.com/

Engagement Photos

BIG Realizations....

So, I have been crying at the drop of a hat the past for days. I think it has been the idea of change and moving into new territory, the usual stress of life and growing up. And then, tonight Joey and I watched "13 going on 30" and I think I made a really big realization. For those of you who know me, you know that I have never wanted to grow up, I have always wanted to be little and wanted to always stay little. I even had a Christmas where I really didn't like the idea that I was big and spent Christmas Eve crying in my bed, my brother and my Mom came in to comfort me to let me know that Even when you are big Christmas is still a magical experience, and is quite wonderful. Abby and I have had many conversations about me not wanting to grow up because of the heartache and the responsibilities it holds, my roommates and I have had many nights filled with awe at how although we were growing up, and were getting closer, that we still felt little, how I wanted to stay back, go back to being little, and how most of them wanted to move on, grow up, be big. Anyways, back to the movie: the main girl, she just wanted to be big, she wanted to be 30. At first it is everything she ever thought it would be, and then reality hits. In the movie, I know that she is distraught because of the choices she made, but at one point in the movie she goes back home, and is thinking about her life, her life as a little girl, wanting to be that little girl, and yet is there trapped in this older body. You know, that feeling was VERY very real to me. I certainly would not mind going back and being four again. But you know what? Unlike this girl in the movie, I have not regretted the choices I have made in my life and am very excited for what is ahead of me. And quite honestly, it would be very sad to live my life as a four year old and to have the rest of the world grow up around me, I would wonder why it was that I never got to have a prince come for me, or why I never got to stay up late, or why I had to always listen to someone else and do what they want me to. I was sitting there watching this movie with Joey and my mom, and for the first time, in well, I was going to say ever, but I know that when I was little my mother banned me from growing up, and turning another year older, and it was a sad day for me then, BUT it is the first time that I can remember that I have ever WANTED to grow up. It was the first time that I was truly excited for all that is ahead of me. Not saying it is going to be a cake walk at all, but certainly saying there is MUCH to look forward to. I know that I am marrying the right person, he makes me want to progress, he makes me want to be better, and I love him so much. I am excited to marry him, to watch us both graduate, to see him start his career, to have our first child, to buy a home, to have a dog and to train it. How exciting will it be to have my own little family, to raise a family, to create traditions, to love and grow and learn more. To grow old together, and spend eternity with him.
I am not wanting to go back. I am not wanting to be little again. Those comforts still are very nice every now and again, and something that was wonderful. I will cherish those memories, hopefully for my entire life. But, I am so excited for the future. I am excited to grow up and be with Joey for eternity, to have our own little family, and to learn and grow together.

When tragedy happens....

I was at church to find out that a colleague of mine had died trying to save her students. I came home, read the paper, and found a text from my department chair informing me of an emergency meeting tomorrow morning.
What do I do now? How is this going to affect everything else? Who are the three students still in the hospital? Lots of questions are running through my head now.

First Student that Cried in Class

I know that I have been missing in action on here for the past little while, but I just have to tell you this story, it is too hard to pass up. First off, I had my first parent/teacher/student conferences this week, and they went a lot better than I was expecting them to. I had a girl cry there too, with her mom, because she was so happy that her efforts were paying off and she had an "A" in the class, this girl also told me that she is now considering to be a teacher after being in my class... what a compliment there. But that is not the story for today, today's story is from a girl that cried and yelled at me during class.....

To not violate privacy issues, let's name this girl Anne. Anne is in my AP Chemistry class at 7:45am on A-days. I know that she has disliked me from day 3 and comes into class with 'attitude.' Last Tuesday I found writing on one of my desks that she had left stating all the things that she hated about me and the class, and how worthless it was, etc. I knew that today I was going to have to call her out on it, but I didn't expect that she was going to come to me first telling me all the things that she hated about the class. In AP we did a lab today, a lab that required that the students were prepared with closed-toed shoes, and pants. What was interesting about that was that the students knew that they were not going to be allowed to participate in the lab without closed-toed shoes and pants. Well, I didn't even warn the students today about that and just told them to get to work on their lab, and Anne comes up to me and tells me that she 'can't' wear closed-toed shoes because she has a blister. I mentioned that she also didn't have pants on (they were capris) and asked what was preventing her from following that requirement. I know, maybe I was being a little sassy, but I didn't understand. She could have worn closed-toed shoes for and hour and a half and then switched her shoes out for the rest of the day, I wasn't preventing her from doing that, and I have had blisters, it isn't the end of the world. She could have come prepared. At that point I asked her what she would like to do instead considering that I couldn't allow her into the lab, reminding her that it was a liability issue, and that I was responsible for her safety, there was no way that I could allow her into the lab. She then proceeded to tell me that I was the teacher and she was coming to ask me what to do, that she didn't know. I then told her that it wasn't my problem that she wasn't prepared, and that she should come up with a solution and I could see if we could make that work. She didn't like that at all. She again told me that I was the teacher I should tell her what to do. That she loved chemistry last year, and that this year she dreads coming to class. I asked her to sit down, and that we could talk in just a moment. I then decided that I might as well get all the issues out there, so that she could hate me all at once, up front, and then she could heal. So, I told Anne that I noticed that she had been writing on my desks and that I didn't appreciate her defiling my room like that, and that I would like her to come in after school to clean desks. I asked her if she thought that was a fair, and she said, yes, I will be in on Monday. Phew. One down, just a few more concerns to go. Then I let Anne know that I did not want her getting a zero on her lab, wanted to help her to get credit, but that I was responsible for her safety, and could not let her into the lab without the proper attire. I asked what she thought would be fair so that she could do the work without being in the lab, and she said she didn't know. Oh, point to mention here: since coming back to talk with Anne after I asked her to sit in her seat, Anne wasn't looking at me while I was talking to her, she was looking off into the distance and crying, it was sad to watch, but I didn't know what else to to but to talk to her, and to let her know that I wanted the best for her, but that I still had to follow the rules/policies. Back to the series of events, well, where to go from here.... she wasn't trying to come up with a solution, she was just upset and couldn't get over that. I decided to address why she despised the class. I asked her what it was that I could do to make it better for her, to help her to learn, to let her to enjoy it. Anne again replied that she didn't know, but that she didn't think that someone that got 130 on all their exams last year should be struggling in this class. I asked Anne what she got on her last exam, and she said that she did well, that she got an A. And I tried to comfort her by telling her that she must be understanding the material to be able to do so well. And then the heart of the problem came out.... I wasn't Bastion (the old chemistry teacher) and she had to spend time that she didn't have doing homework for this class. Anne proceeded to tell me that only after she spent two hours after every class working on homework was she able to understand it. I responded saying that was good, that I had designed for my AP students to spend two hours on homework after every class. And that if she was spending much more time than that on homework that she needed to come in to get help from me before or after school, during lunch, or to email me, and I would be more than willing to help her to understand. Anne then let me know that she is in the heart of band season, and that she didn't have time to do anything. Five minutes, here, and five minutes there she didn't think was going to help her at all. She needed more help than that. I also agreed with her that I was no Bastion, I had a very different teaching style, but that I hoped that she could learn from me as well, and that she could enjoy it, and learn lots. Anne at this point was looking at me, and had thought of a solution to one of her problems. She asked if she could sit in the desks, but help her group by making sure they do the right steps, by doing the calculations etc. I told her that that would be a wonderful plan, she just could not actually be doing the lab for safety reasons.

I think that it was a success in the end. I think that Anne knew that I cared, that I wanted her to succeed, and to learn, but that I also expected her to be responsible and to come up with her own solutions to her problems. I let her know that I was available to help, and I let her know that it was unacceptable to be defiling my desks. I sure hope there aren't a whole lot of these, but I guess there had to be a first, and here it is... all part of being a teacher I guess. Well, here is to another day. I better go to bed so that I can get up in the morning to teach another day.

Homecoming at American Fork High School

You know you are a teacher when you are 21 and going to homecoming as a chaperone.
Thanks for coming with me Joey,
maybe next time I'll ask you as if I were in high school,
sending you on a scavenger hunt or something of the like.

ps: Dixie wanted a picture of the first dance that we chaperoned,
I don't think that it would have been a big deal but Ryan went on his first date to Jordan High School's homecoming the same night so....
I think she was feeling sentimental.
Thanks though, I appreciate you taking pictures for us.

I'm getting MARRIED. I'm engaged. I really really am. We went up to Cascade Springs, and Joey told me that like the river that started there, with humble beginnings, we too were starting this journey together. He knelt down. Proposed. I said yes and put my beautiful ring on. We talked. And I know that I am the luckiest person in the world.

I hate swimsuits. They are designed all wrong. It is time for a new one.

Midnight Showing

I am glad that Danielle wanted to go to the midnight showing of Harry Potter otherwise I don't think that Joey and I would have gone, but I certainly had a lot of fun. I enjoyed being there early and watching everyone's excitement rise. I enjoyed people watching, and wondering if some of the kids around me were going to be my students next year. I enjoyed beating Joey at a whole handful of games, and losing too. It was fun to see Katie happy there, and Danielle, and Mason, meeting Jeffrey after a few years of hearing about him, and seeing Hilarie after too long of not getting together. I enjoyed trying to remember the book before events happened in the movie, and laughing and jumping throughout it. I was shocked when it was over to find that it was 3am in the morning, but it was a lot of fun. I would recommend the movie, and would suggest looking past Ginny's acting, and enjoying the rest of it because all in all it was really good.

Week Off

I have had a very fun week off of school. Joey and I were able to spend every day together, and I loved every minute of it. We went to Provo to see a kid Joey knew in Brazil, and while waiting were able to enjoy some beautiful weather on the grounds of the Provo Temple. We also went to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple Open House, and it was beautiful. Each room was exquisite. We also met up with some of Joey's mission friends for that and went to Red Robin for dinner afterwords. Interesting fact: Bryan Paul's sister was on that date. 'It's a small world afterall.' I enjoyed the open house, but going to do baptisms with Joey at the Draper temple was better. I love the spirit in the temple. I love how I feel in the temple. This was the first time I had gone through the Draper Temple since it has been dedicated, and it reminded me of the WOW I felt when going through this temple with my parents during its open house. I don't know, maybe it was because it was the first temple that I went through at all. But the whole thing was exhilarating. When I went through the temple, it was reconfirmed to me that there is nothing in the world that is going to stop me from getting married in the temple someday. And being in the baptistry reminded me of that feeling. I love the temple.
We also went to a Strawberry Days Block Party with a different set of mission friends. It was interesting, I certainly felt like I was too old for it, but we had fun anyways. I found it interesting because the two boys just home from their missions didn't really relax there at all, I think they felt even more uncomfortable than me. On Friday Tiffany, Joey's sister, gave us a set of free tickets to Lagoon. Which turned out to be a lot of fun. The last ride we went on was the swings, and we asked this little kid to take our picture, and it turned out to be the best one of the day.

That night we also went to the Strawberry Days Rodeo with Mom and Dad. I have always loved the rodeo, it is just such a different atmosphere than so many other things in life. I was glad to spend some time with them and Joey. We also spent the weekend with the Finley's playing games. They enjoy trying to beat me, and it is a lot of fun playing with a new set of people who don't all play the way I do or expect. It adds another dimension to the game, it is fun. It was a nice week off, and as this next semester is starting up it makes me wish that I had just taken all of my classes spring semester and not had anything to do this summer. But it is all good.
Well, off we go again. Last class on BYU campus.

He is Home

"The second coming is here" "The chosen one is back"

I've heard these phrases the past few days, but honestly that is not how I am feeling. I am just ecstatic that Elder Jeffrey Joseph Finley is home from his mission. It has been a long time, and yet no time at all. He is here, and I have enjoyed listening to him and his parents share their experiences. Honestly though, I have just enjoyed looking at him, and listening to him. I know, I'm weird, but that is how I feel. Welcome home Joey.

Seriously, I am having the hardest time focusing ever!

The Achievement Gap

Have I told you about my Multicultural Education class? Well, it is one that has got me thinking, and thinking about what it is that I should do, thinking about what I can do, thinking about what I am going to do to fix/improve/accept the many discrepancies that exist in our world. I've read lots in the class already, and am still reading more. Anyways, with that background I went to a play with Katie and my parents called "Miss Saigon." It is set in the closing days of the Vietnam War and is about these two individuals who fall in love, one from Vietnam, the other an American soldier.... they get separated and he thinks she is dead and moves on with his life and gets married (again?), but she can't move on, she bears his son, and tries to exist until he finds her. The very last scene they meet together one last time after the war ended, but.... well, it was a hard play to take in. It was a powerful play containing many of the emotions that were connected to that time period (so my parents tell me - as that they lived through it). Anyways, it too got me thinking down the same lines of "what is our responsibility towards mankind?" This time instead of thinking about just our little communities, and maybe even extending it to the rest of the nation, but instead pushing it out to the world. It is a hard question, and I don't have an answer, but I don't think that we are just to sit here and do nothing. I thought about how selfish we are, and how each of us want the best for ourselves and those we love, but is it enough to just offer it to them? I thought about sending off a husband or a son to war, and I did not like that thought at all, but maybe that is what is necessary. I can't claim that fighting for the right is not acceptable, in our church, think about the stripling warriors, they were in WAR, and yet are some of the biggest heroes of the Book of Mormon. But is it required that I have to give those that are closest to me? I don't know. I don't want to.
About that class I am in, it has certainly opened my eyes to the hurt that is present around us in our own country. There are so many people who don't have a chance at success despite that they are Americans, and work hard. It reminds me of that movie that I had to watch in America Heritage (I can't remember what it is called right now, the one with Will Smith... urg, oh well). And, what are we doing about it? Are we ignoring it? But we can't/aren't required to put ourselves into danger to combat it... the Smart family comes to mind as well (Elizabeth Smart, and her parents and what they went through, all because he was trying to give work to a man who was in need). And that wasn't necessarily what is required of us either. I don't know. They are hard questions.

Anyways, I went to church praying, asking for at least some direction as to what we can do, and it was very interesting what I got out of church. The lessons taught I don't think that they really were focused at all on this topic, but for me, that is all I could see and got out of the lesson, really, it was all that I saw from the lesson... the teacher/members either 'getting' the same point as me, or missing it all together.... interesting how that works.... Anyways, one lesson was on the law of tithing and fasting/fast offerings. And well, it confirmed to me, that I am grateful to be a member of this church, who looks out for its members with fast offerings, and feeds/clothes/shelters those who are in need within the ward, and worldwide too. In small and simple ways, the church is doing what they can to improve the lot of others. I still wonder what more I can do, how I can close the gap between where I am and where so many others are. This whole thinking process has certainly helped me to see the many, many, many, many blessings that I have. Anyways... Church also helped me to remember the place of the Savior and the Godhead in our lives. I am ever so grateful for the atonement. I am grateful for the knowledge that all will be treated fairly in the next life. Every time I take a class like this, think of World Religions, the Atonement becomes more real, and takes a bigger place in my life. I am so appreciative for the sacrifice that our Lord and Savior made for us. I am grateful for the truth this gospel provides me with. I am grateful for the truth that I receive so that I can start to wrap my mind around such complex issues, and find peace with/through the Lord.

Another Blog to follow... if you care/want

http://afhschemistry.blogspot.com/

This is the link, it is for my IP&T class right now, but in the end I would like to make it useful for my students.... unless I learn how to make a website, and then I might not do it through blogger.... anyways, still learning, but I did upload a video that I made... I think it turned out fairly well.

Good Songs

Taylor Swift: You Belong With Me

Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat: Lucky

Taylor Swift: Best Day

Mason Payne: Lamb to the Slaughter

One Month

So, there is this boy. And he will be home in 31 days, and I am really really excited for it. He has been serving as a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Recife, Brazil. He has been away from home, given up time, money, and experiences for it, and I am so glad that he chose to do so. But he is coming home soon. I am excited that he has done such a good job. I am excited that he has come to know and understand the gospel and the scriptures. I am excited that he has a love of the temple and the things he learns from it. When he gets here, I will be excited to hear all about the people, and the sites, the mission companions and his leaders. I am excited to hear his voice, to see his eyes, and to laugh with him. My best friend is coming home and I can not stay quiet much longer. I can't wait.

Piano Recital

day by day play by play

The semester is over, and I made it. I wouldn't really suggest taking 18 credits and working unless you have a REALLY good reason for it, the sanity level and lack of sleep just isn't worth it. But I made it through, and we are all in one piece.

What else is going on here in my life? My piano students have a recital on Saturday. For the summer I am going to be living at my sister's house in Saratoga Springs while going to school - yes commuting, but she asked me to house-sit for her while she is in Chicago. And I love her, so I am. The plan is that Dan is going to come out and live with me summer semester, but now as it gets closer, I don't know if that is going to happen. I don't know if she is going to be able to get back out to Provo at all, and even if she does if it is going to be feasible for her to live with me here, rather than to live there near campus, but it will be good anyways.

I slept in on Monday and studied for a test outside on the balcony all day, it was such a beautiful day, loved that. Then went and took a test and played catch with Mason, had dinner with Mason, VTers came over (so nice of them to give me a light bulb for my room - it has been burned out for awhile now, didn't even ask, they just brought it over after the lesson.... anyways) went to ice cream with Hannah, Danielle, Brendan and Mason. It was fun to be with such fun people. That night I also found out that I passed the PRAXIS, wahoo, I'm doing alright. Anyways, went to breakfast with Mason, Matt, Brendan, Hilarie, and Abby on Tuesday morning, it felt just like old times (well, almost), I loved being with them and catching up. That night I got a little freaked out about life, but Heavenly Father answered unspoken prayers and had my Mom call to talk to me, it was really nice, I needed her. Wednesday I took a test, and packed, and finished my classes, and played.... frisbee, and rock band and had smart cookie (which apparently is CLOSING, I really don't understand why, I single-handedly think I keep them in business, but I guess not). Thursday I packed up, went to lunch with Dixie - interesting, but so nice, again an unspoken prayer being answered. Talked with my Mom again - about more things than I thought I would. Came back to Provo (sorry this is long, but it is what is going on in my life right now, and is more exciting to me than studying for finals and writing papers, which is what I had to talk about before, so I am taking this chance to be exciting now... :)) chatted with the girls, Katie had a fun date.... interesting how these things start at the beginning of summer for her, and then hiked the "Y" with Danielle and Rebecca - and the lights were on around it, which was pretty sweet, BUT we also got to see the lights go OFF too. We were sitting ON the "Y" when the lights turned off, it was awesome. Friday I moved out officially of The Regency - it was time to move on, but it was nice being there too, it had become a home for me. I then drove to my sister's and went to the doctor's with her and her four kids, had lunch, and drove her to the airport. At that point, I started my full-time "Mom" position. It was a long weekend there, but I made it through, and again am glad that when you start off with your own kids that you only have ONE at first and build from there. Church, I am amazed that I got anything out of, but I did, and it was a GREAT Sunday for me. Learned all about the importance of reading the scriptures, reverence, the law of consecration, and finding Joy in the Journey. I took something from each of them, and it was nice. I start school again on Tues. and then Thursday I go in for my official signing of next year's contract :).

That is it. My life in a few paragraphs.

Wonderful Visitors

Heading into Finals

mOtivation

Kinda ironic, I am writing a paper on motivating students in my classroom management class, and today I, well, I think I gave up in a different class. I got back the score to my second submission of a huge paper I have been working on, and it wasn't so hot. I determined if I get all 180 points on this last submission, that I still would only get an 85 ish on the total paper, and seeing that the paper is most of our grade in the class.... I don't know, it isn't motivating for me, because I know that I am not going to get all 180 points, so there is no way for me to get a A or an A- in the class anymore. It is almost not worth trying for at this point.

To do list (by Tuesday):

10 page paper in Philosophy of Science
20 page project in Classroom Management
10 page paper in Technical Writing

wish me luck! (I'm going to need it)

Hanging Out

So on the 18th my roommates and I decided to go running after we went to a movie, it was a lot of fun, but when we got back our apartment seemed to be ridiculously hot, so we sat outside on the balcony and put our feet up, it was a lot of fun, I love these girls. Then this week we decided that we needed to be cool. So we planned and put on a party last night. This was taken when there was only 5 of us left at the party (we decided to keep the boys out of the picture, and to take it instead). It was a lot of fun, and it was nice to know that other people think that we are cool enough to come to our party, and obviously they think so, considering that there were lots of people here. We played games, ate food, watched short movie clips, and had great music to enjoy along with amazing company. Go us!

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Joey! It is amazing to me that this year you will be coming home from your mission. In so many ways, you are still the kid I knew in geometry, who loved basketball. But you have grown up now in so many ways. Still thinking of you.

My Roommates

Just Kidding...

No more apartment, well, at least that is what it feels like. We get all pumped about this new place, only to find out that we are on a WAITING LIST?!?! What is up with that, they should not have cashed our checks just to put us on a waiting list. We don't know what to do now, start over, hope for our chances, everyone go on by themselves..... this audacious suggestion was made .... however, that never was my plan, I just wonder, what now? What is going to be the best thing. I am torn, I feel that perhaps it is better this way, maybe I will end up at Riverton High School, or somewhere equally far away, and will have to not live in Provo after all, I don't know. I don't know where to look now. I thought we had it all figured out..... dought!

Rejuvenated

This weekend was really nice to me, and I thank my Heavenly Father for it. It was just what the doctor ordered. I was feeling a little bit like I needed a spring break, or a time of rejuvenation, and I got it. I really did, I am ready to go for this next week. To work hard and to get done all that I need to. I take my PRAXIS exam on Saturday and of coarse the regular school tests and papers and things that are due and need to get done. But I can do it. So, let me tell you about this weekend... It follows the pictures that follow.... Friday night I was with Katie and her sisters, we played together, her littlest sister is a ballerina and was giving us all lessons, I don't think that I was made out to be a dancer, I am just not very graceful. Anyways, it was fun. Then Sat I got Krispie Creme Doughnuts for April and that was fun to do something different and to talk with her. Then I went riding with my Dad, he actually rolled (very dangerous) luckily he didn't break anything nor did she (the horse) It was beautiful and exactly what I needed. Then Mason and I went to pick up Danielle and we went over to his house and had a fun party thing, this picture isn't a good representation of all the people that were there, but this is who was there at the end when I took a picture. Anyways. It was fun night, I feel so comfortable with that group that I could just be myself, it was really nice and very relaxing. Then today, Sunday, was Jen's farewell, she did such a good job, and then my parents fed Danielle and I, and it was so good. And my parents love me so much, they talked to us, and it was so nice to have a real conversation with people that care, and to play ROOK. And then I came home, shared cake with my roommates, and my home-teachers came over, and now I am here. The weekend honestly was just really nice.

Another great day

O.k, I have two things to share with you. First off, men are really creepy. At least some of them are. I was driving to Mapleton Junior High School and this man was walking across the street and made a head gesture of “yeah, hi, I’m cool, and I’m checkin’ you out” I just looked past him and didn’t acknowledge him, but decided that I should probably lock my doors, he crossed the street, and I looked over again at him, and he was turned around and looking at me, and gestured for me to turn into the parking lot there ….. as if I would come and talk to this random stranger just so he could ….. who knows, it wasn’t happening though. Luckily the light turned green shortly thereafter and I could just drive away.

Next event, this is much more happy, so, today I went to Mapleton Junior High School to judge for the Nebo district science fair. The students did SUCH a good job. It made me so happy to see students excelling and exploring the world around them. I was amazed at the understanding that they had. There were two fairs going on, one was elementary schools, and the other was middle/high schools, but I only saw one high school student, don’t know how that works, but I just went with it. Anyways, the students had learned so much I asked one student about colligative properties, and another about redox, I talked to one student about trusses and another about gadolinium used for MRIs and how binding was tested using a GC…. I bet he won, another talked about freezing-point depression, a pair did a project on making their own amplifier for a ukulele, and another talked about getting electricity from potatoes, or avocados. Honestly, they all did a really good job, and I was impressed with all of their work. I wonder which projects won. I know that I didn’t have a chance to see all of them, not even a fourth of them really. It would have been nice to have stayed for the awards ceremony, but I figured I should get back and work on my homework…. here I am doing this though, oh well, I just had to talk about this.
It was so nice to talk to people, to families, to be in the real world. I talked with a teacher over at Payson Middle, he is retired from Provo School District, but then teaching again now in Nebo, he had some good stories about his process through things. And then this other lady, I think she was a fifth grade teacher, but she was a judge with me, and we talked about some of the projects, and well, it was really nice to know that there are real people out there. I think sometimes in the world of BYU we forget that there are other things that are important in life, that there are lots of things going on. It was nice to be brought back to that reality, and to enjoy my evening. It was a great way to spend my time, and now I and going to work on my own homework and hopefully present my work as well as those students did. Have a great evening.

Hiking the "Y"

Danielle and I have had so many good experiences hiking the "Y." Last night we decided that we are going to try and think of all the different situations that we can hike the "Y" in. We are doing fairly well now: regular, while it was raining, for a FHE activity (yes that is a different situation), in the snow and at night..... we thought we could hike it to see the sunset/sunrise as well, and if you think of any more, that would be great, we will try your suggestions. Anyways, we had a lot of fun last night. Mason came over, we went to dinner, we played Rook, and talked, and then played Uno, we were enjoying ourselves, and and then Danielle and I decided that we needed to hike the "Y." We said that we were going to while there was still snow on the ground, and that is quickly dissappearing, and Sat mornings we can't go because I teach piano, and during the week we cannot go because we have school, so we might as well go now... so at 11:10 we left the apartment to drive up there and hike the Y. We are so awesome! Really we are, if everyone could be as cool as we are .... :P

And the verdict is.....

Well, after four hours last Sat, six hours on Friday, and another two hours on Sat we found a place that we are going to live next year. It is a four person apartment, and there are two bathrooms, Danielle and I are going to be in the same room with the same bathroom, and it is going to rock because it is going to be so clean! I am so excited. Where is this place you might want to know... well, first I have to tell you a little background information. Freshman year we lived in Heritage, it was a great little place for us. One bathroom for the six of us, but we were close to the hall bathroom, so if there really was a problem, this was easily fixed. The fridge/freezer combo was not big enough for all six of us, not at all. The rooms were big, the closet space was nice, and I liked that everything closed up. I liked my room situation that freshman year. Then sophomore year we decided to move on together, to upgrade our freezer/storage situation, and that was a major bonus for me. I loved having the extra space for food storage. The rooms were smaller, and sometimes we feared that with the wiggly bed, one night we were going to fly through the walls and land on the ground outside. We had a few issues here, with the roof leaking, and the balcony which got fixed while we lived there. But come the next year (this year), we decided to stay again, the price, location, and quality of what we got were worth staying, and not worth the hassle of moving. Well, now it is time to start looking again, for next year. It has been a long road, but we found a place! And tomorrow we are going to go sign a contract and place money down. So unless there is no longer space, Roman Gardens is where we are going to live next year. It seems like it is going to be a great place. I love the tile in the bathroom, I love the large living room, and I think that everyone is going to be happy there.

What a Great Day!

I had SUCH a good day. Let me talk you through it. It started out with teaching about periodic trends to my Chem 105 class. It was a great lesson, it was student oriented and they were engaged, and it just started out the day perfectly. Then I went to class and it was absolutely BEAUTIFUL outside. Philosophy was very interesting as we talked about Boyle's worldview and about the development of the idea of gravity and how it is strange that it is so much like a "magic" force. Then we talked about how there were so many things that were strange like it, such as light and sound, all three things move through "empty" space. It was a great discussion. On my way home I saw Jill and got to talk to her, it was so fun to catch up on life, she is planning on going on a mission, that is SO exciting. Next I went to Springville High School and they were taking a test but I learned so much from Mr. Haderlie and it just got me really excited to be teaching. It is going to be such a GREAT experience. I am so excited to be working in the schools, and to become a teacher. I then came back to campus and taught again, it is so interesting how you can do the same thing in two classes and get completely different results. Then back to learning from Mr. Haderlie and getting some great ideas for experiments to perform. I am going to have a lot of fun. I ran from class to the car and then drove out to Saratoga Springs to babysit for the Ramsays. And they are just so 'dang' cute. I wish I had more time to play with them. I came in and Tate said, "I already practiced today, I'm not going down." It was nice to be there not just for piano lessons, but to sit with them, have popcorn, to read books together, and to love them up. Now I just have to get done a poster presentation before the night is out, and I will be set. It was an inspirational day though. I can do all that I needs to get done. I am really excited for what is ahead, and I know that the Lord is looking out for me.
It is nice to be able to see and count your blessings every once in awhile. May I suggest doing so, it will brighten your day as you see all the things going for you. Have a good one.

Routines

Today I was volunteering at Oakridge again and observed how important it is to have a routine each day for these students to follow. After lunch and seminary each individual in the class has a job that they need to complete. For some of the higher functioning students they rotate through jobs each day, such as vacuuming, or cleaning the mirrors in the bathroom, wiping off tables and chairs, etc. Today I was working with Danielle, she had two jobs to complete during this time, one was laundry, and the other was cleaning the handrails in the hallway. I received instruction on what to expect and how best to help her to complete these tasks. I was told that she does a very good job at doing the laundry, all I needed to do was to help remind her of her job by showing her a picture of the task, and she would know what to do from there and would be willing to complete her job. I was then told that this second job of wiping down the handrails, however, was not going to be as easy. For this was a new job that she was just learning how to complete and she was not quite as good at completing that task without prodding, direction, and help. I was amazed at the difference that the routine, the consistency, made for her. Like was told to me, once Danielle was shown the picture that triggered her to go and do laundry she ran excitedly to do her part to help clean up. She went to all three classrooms and collected their dirty rags and brought them into the laundry room, and then placed them in the basket. She was so good. As she completed her job the other teachers thanked her for her work, and she did a very good job at completing her task. I then watched as her next job was supposed to be completed. This process did not go as smoothly. She went back into the classroom and sat down refusing to do any more work. A tech had to get a wheelchair, which she is afraid of, and pushed it behind her to get her to come out into the hall with me so that we could work on cleaning the rails. As Danielle was frustrated with me, I was glad that I had been told that this was a new job she was trying to learn how to do so that it made sense to me why it was so hard for her to get started, to stay focused and not running away from the task, and understood her relief as she completed the task. I think for me this task was the most stressful part of the day because she ran away into other classrooms, trying to get away from me, and I felt like I was unable to correctly do my job. I know that she did not like that I was asking her to complete the task, and I'm sure it didn't help that I new to helping her, and that it was a new job for her to do as well.
Anyways, that is the events for today, and it has caused me to think about the consistency we all need in our lives. Why is it that when we go to a certain class that we tend to sit in the same seat as the time before? Well, it is because it is familiar to us, and we like having that consistency as we go throughout our day. For children with disabilities this is extremely exaggerated. Each task could take weeks to master, and to then change things up is asking a lot of students. Even in a regular high school classroom, each student has seven to eight classes that they are required to learn specific rules for, and that they need to learn to adapt to. If you change expectations regularly, it could easily become very confusing for students, and it could cause for them to do poorly in the course as a result. When setting up my classroom I need to be aware of the routines I expect students to go through, and then to be consistent in asking that of them each class period. And when I have a student with special needs I need to be even more cautious as to settle into a routine that the children can follow and not get bored with either.

Hard Times

I have decided that we are in the middle of some hard times right now. Not just one of use, but everybody is. They are all different trials, but they are trials nonetheless, and I wish I could take them away. But the thing is, no matter what we do, we can't take them away. We can talk about them, we can ease the pain for others, but they are still there. And, they will continue to be there until we learn to give them to the Lord, and to let his healing arms embrace us. This means we have to apply the atonement in our lives. This doesn't mean that we had to have sinned, it could be that we are lonely, or that we feel we are inadequate. To apply the atonement it could be because we feel there is a lot to get done, and we don't know how we can accomplish it all, it could be that a family member is in the hospital, or that abuse is going on in the family, it could be that we mentally abuse ourselves, or use physical abuse on another or ourselves. It could be just that it was a long day and you forgot to smile, the atonement can help heal us here. It is not just in my head, but legitimately, these are hard times. I feel bad for those who struggle financially right now, with the economy as it is, it just makes for a greater burden to carry; but honestly, the Lord can guide us in that regard as well, and in health issues too. Now, to apply the atonement isn't saying that the problems are going to go away, but I have felt the healing power in my life, and know that He can ease our pains, and help us to progress, to allow us to come closer to Him. The more experience I have, the more I realize the power of the atonement and what it can do for me. We can make it through, we just need to rely on the Lord a little more each day.

January Pictures

I turned in my internship application..... needed a headshot

This was on my birthday


These two girls made my birthday so special, I love them so much!


You have to admit, that is one of the coolest cakes you have EVER seen!


Afterwords we had a dance party, it was sweet.

Aren't they beautiful?!?!

I own a CAR, sweet freedom

The Faith of a Scientist By Dr. Henry Eyring

“True religion concerns mand and the entire universe in which he lives. It concerns his relationships with himself and his fellow men, which his environment, and with God his Creator. It is therefore limitless, and as boundless as that eternity which it teaches les ahead of every child of God. “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” What a challenge to every man lies in these words from the Master–to develop himself, to strive, to learn, to seek, to go forward that he might become a God.” – pg 2

D&C 88: 78-79

“Here is the spirit of true religion, an honest seeking after knowledge of all things of heaven and earth.” – pg 3

“The scientific spirit is a spirit of inquiry, a spirit of reaching out for truth. In the final analysis, this spirit is likewise of the essence of religion The Savior said: “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” (Mathew 7:7) The scientist has in effect reaffirmed this great fundamental laid down by the Master, and in doing so has given a new impetus to religion.” – pg 5

“This is the spirit of true science–constant and eternal seeking.” – pg 7

“Though our knowledge of the universe is always expanding, the fundamentals of the Gospel endure unchanged.” – pg. 20

“There is no limit to how high man, the spirit child of God, may climb. By hard work, by study, by constantly increasing in humility and in wisdom through the eternities, we will approach perfection.” – pg. 22

“As a Latter-day Saint, like any other honest man I am obliged to accept only the truth.” – pg 23

“The Gospel is not the people in the Church. The Gospel is not even the people who direct it. The Gospel is the truth. One will have difficulty finding better men than we have presiding over the Church at present and than we have had in past. Still, they are human beings as we are.” – pg 23

“Science deals only with how the world works and has little to say about why the world is as it is. Values, also, are something apart from science. We must find the meaning of life in religion and in metaphysics. Even if by breaking the genetic code, for example, we should learn how to change human inheritance and so affect human destiny, the meaning of life would remain as tantalizing a question as it was before. If we think of the universe as analogous to a great machine, then man is learning though science something about how the machine works, but only though philosophy and religion can he catch a glimpse of the purposed of the Designer and
His reasons for the grand design. Many of the burning questions which are the substance of human hopes and fears are answered by religion for the believer.” – pg 40

“ Chemistry is the science of the behavior of aggregates of atoms and molecules and as such underlies all the material sciences. Studying it, we conclude that chemical laws follow from wave mechanics and the coulomb law of attraction between electrons and positively charged nuclei. Learning this and implementing it is science. The existence of such amazing unity and simplicity of design brings a sense of awe inspired only by an artistic masterpiece. With this comes once again an acute awareness of the Master Designer.” – pg 40

“The Gospel commits us only to the truth.” – pg 41

“In this Church, you only have to believe the truth. Find out what the truth is!” – pg 43

What is FAIR?

May I ask you what you think, and please take the time to think of your answer, to think through your opinion, and then I would love to hear your comments. ..... What does it means to be fair? How about when you want someone to be fair towards you, is it is the same definition? What are you really asking for when you ask for someone to be fair?

As a future parent, or an aunt, or a teacher, even a daughter and member of society I feel like this is an important question, something that should be addressed, something that I can apply in all of those roles I hold. As such, it is something I want to address. So, let's go through a few scenarios and see what you think by the end of this little journey....
when your mother helps your little sister to get dressed and tells you to hurry up and go get dressed yourself, what is the typical response you give, "that' not fair, you're helping sister!"
or how about when feeding time rolls around, you as the older sibling get more food than your little sister who complains that it is not fair that you get more food
These are just two examples we could think of, but you can think of these and the point we get across. From the perspective of an adult, these situations seem obvious, the older child can dress themself and does not require additional help, and in regards to the food, you know that the younger child will not eat as much food as the older child, the food would be wasted if given to them, therefore they do not get the extra food. Yet, what is the child's perspective on what is fair? As an adult what are we teaching our children that fair is?
The concept of what fair is can be applied to many situations. As an adult I had to ask myself if I was applying my personal concept of what being fair was to my personal situations. Are we applying our personal conception of what being fair truly is?

Well, what is fair? To be fair is giving everyone what they need.

In my teaching student's with disabilities class (CPSE 402) we were discussing this, and honestly, it hit me really hard. This is one of those concepts that sunk-in. The next question there was brought up, do you allow the teacher to make accommodations for those students that need extra help? Do you think that it is unfair for the teacher to spend a little extra time with the student with a learning disability, that it is unfair to the other students? Do you think it is unfair to the student having a heart attack that you don't help them because you realize there are 30 other students in the classroom and you believe that you can't take the time away from them to help that hear attack student? It seems obvious when the two situations are placed side-by-side, but do you honestly believe it?
Let me put it another way, think of the Savior, the greatest teacher of all. What did he do for that lost sheep? Was it fair of Him to leave the ninety and nine to go after the one? He did. He went and found and picked up that one lost sheep, gave it extra attention, allowed it the time that was necessary for it individually.
What I need to remember is that this is fair. If we required that extra help, the extra love, the extra time He would offer that to us too. i think of my sister and don't want her to beat herself up because she feels she is not being fair to her other children, the fact of the matter is that you are teaching them, through your love and actions the concept of what it truly means to be fair, to give each that which they need because you love them.
Anyways, those are my thoughts, I hope that as we each go out into the world today that we make a difference, that we are fair to our fellow beings. Have a great day.

The Adventure

It starts over Christmas break..... I am looking for a car, I don't know what it is that I am doing, where to start, what to even consider, I don't even know how I feel about the whole process. Well, I start doing my research. I look on KSL.com and Kelley Blue Book, and NADA comparing prices, seeing what is fair, talking to a whole bunch of people who all give me advice (thank you to all of you). Then we start, my Mom has taken me around to about ten cars, at first (well, honestly, the whole things has been, but....) I was really nervous and couldn't really enjoy the process at all. It is a big decision that is going to affect the next ten years or so of my life, it is a lot of money, and I don't know anything really at all about them, so how could I make an educated decision. I really just wanted someone to help me make the decision, but then again, I wanted this to honestly and truly be mine, to prove that I was/am growing up, I was torn. The first day we went out my Mom and I decided that we were on an adventure, think of it like a treasure hunt. This started when we got stuck in the snow doing a "U-turn" trying to get to the first car. Things continued to be interesting, after going out to West Jordan, and South Salt Lake, and Mapleton, Provo, and Draper. We saw some beaters, those cars that should really just be donated to the kidney foundation, and that have been highly abused. We saw cars that were really nice, and that I didn't even need to test drive after seeing them. We met some interesting people too. Those who were moving cross-country so needed to sell their car. Those who had already moved to another country, and were having their friend sell it, those who just had babies, and were upgrading to a bigger car, those who just wanted to upgrade, those who knew that the car was not worth anything but were trying to sell it anyways. Yeah, it was certainly an adventure. Well, then last week came and I was done looking, I had seen some good cars, some that I thought I might want to make an offer on, came and went, and I didn't want my good options to pass me by.... so I decided that I wanted to move forward, besides school had started up again, and I just could not invest as much time as I was searching, I needed that time to be doing homework, to be using the car to go to places I needed to.
So, I searched harder, I found two "X"'s and I started digging, and in the end I found my treasure:
it is a Nissan Maxima SE Limited, it is silver with black interior, four door, 1999 with 125000 miles on it. I am really pleased with my decision, and wahoo, the search is over. Now only to pick it up from the Dealer.... it is getting a repair done for an electrical problem, the check engine light is perpetually on, despite that the engine has been checked and seems to be in good condition. But either way, I own it now, and I am ready to start making it my own. I'm a car owner. Can you believe it?!?! Yes, I am very excited.

PAUSE

You know when you turn on a really good movie, and you find that you love this movie SO much, and you knew before it started that you were going to have to go get a few things done in the middle of it, but you figured that it was going to be fine you could just miss those parts. Well, now you found that you don't want to tear yourself away from the movie, but you have to, so you go and look for the remote and you can't find it, can't find it. But you have to go, you have no choice now. Finally, you are able to find the remote and press the pause button so that you can come back to the exact spot where you left off. Then something happens, like it always does, and you are gone, and the movie plays on. (I think that all movie players do that. They pause for a time, and then they start up again, even though you didn't press play, well, it does that or stops, and for this story we are going to say that it plays.) You come back in the middle of your job, and find that it is still going. you don't have time to rewind it, but you REALLY want to see the movie, so you go to find the remote again, see a snippet of the movie, don't quite know what is going on, but think that you do, and then press pause again. At first you are really upset, who started the movie, why couldn't it just stay paused, what is the point in pausing it at all if there is no way that it is going to stay at the point that you left the movie at? Well, honestly, it is going to be fine, you didn't miss much anyways, and you caught on to the jist of it, and you figure out that it is just how it has to be, the player is not doing anything wrong, it is just life, that is how it happens. No point in wasting energy on worrying about it, besides, the pause button is pressed again now. Alas, again the terrible plight of the player, and the movie starts again. You are gone, you are busy getting done all the things you need to with life. And you come back and again see just a snippet of the movie, try to catch up, but know that you don't quite have the whole story, but again you are busy, and shouldn't really be in here at all, so you press pause again, and you know that you probably will be back in time before the movie starts up again. At least you hope it. Well, there are some oddities about this movie player, it doesn't rewind, EVER. Meaning you can ever only play the movie once. Luckily you can pause it, but as we can tell, it isn't quite enough, you could get someone to try and fill you in of the things that you have missed. however, you know that it is not quite the same as if you had watched it yourself, but is it better than not watching it at all? After time, and after being frustrated with the situation, and missing some of it, well, in some ways you don't even really want to watch the rest of the show, but in some ways you still do. So after your work is over, you look at the player and now you have two options, press play and start where it is, try to figure out what you missed, or stop it altogether and only hear from others how the rest of the story played out.

What are you going to choose?

the meaning of Life is LIGHT

I think all are good, and those that seem to not be have had something hard, or terrible, or some misunderstanding that has mislead them, some confusion. I saw "Fred Clause" and that certainly was the message in that movie, and I also watched "the Tale of Despereaux" which certainly had a message about those who were hurt and how they grew due to it and now I am reading it, well, reading these words made me think more seriously about the truth of the good in us all.

""I think," said Roscuro, "that the meaning of life is light"
"Light," said Botticelli. "Ha-ha-ha - you kill me. Light has nothing to do with it."
"What does it mean then?" asked Roscuro.
"The meaning of life," said Botticelli, "is suffering, specifically the suffering of others. Prisoners, for instance. Reducing a prisoner to weeping and wailing and begging is a delightful way to invest your existence with meaning."
....""Are you listening?" Botticelli said to Roscuro.
"I am listening."
"Good," said Botticelli. "Do as I say and your life will be full of meaning. This is how to torture a prisoner: first, you must convince him that you are a friend. Listen to him. Encourage him to confess his sins. And when the time is right, talk to him. Tell him what he wants to hear. Tell him, for instance, that you will forgive him. This is a wonderful joke to play on a prisoner, to promise forgiveness."
"Why?" said Roscuro...
"Because," said Botticelli, "you will promise it - ha - but you will not grant it. You gain his trust. And then you deny him. You refuse to offer the very thing he wants. Forgiveness, freedom, friendship, whatever it is that his heart most desires, you withhold." At this point in his lecture, Boticelli laughed so hard that he had to sit down and catch his breath....
"Ha," said boticelli, "ha-ha-ha! You gain his trust, you refuse him and - ha-ha - you become what he knew you were all along, what you knew you were all along, not a friend, not a confessor, not a forgiver, but -ha-ha!-a rat!" Botticelli wiped his eyes and shook his head and sighed a sigh of great contentment...."At that point, it is most effective to run back and forth over the prisoner's feet, inducing physical terror along with the emtional sort. Oh," he said, "it is such a lovely game, such a lovely game! And it is just absolutely chock-full of meaing."
"I would like very much to torture a prisoner," said Roscuro. "I would like to make someone suffer."
"Your time will come," said Botticelli....
"So, soon, there will be a prisoner for me?"
"Yes," said Botticelli Remorso. "Yes."
"I'm looking forward to it."
"Ha-ha-ha! Of course you are looking forward to it. You are looking forward to it because you are a rat, a real rat."
"Yes," said Roscuro. "I am a real rat."
"Concerned not at all with the light," said Botticelli.
"Concerned not at all with the light," repeated Roscuro.
Botticelli laughed again and shook his head....
"You, my young friend, are a rat. Exactly. Yes. Evil. Prisoners. Rats. Suffering. It all fits together so neatly, so sweetly. Oh, it is a lovely world, a lovely, dark world.""

It made me think, what is it that I allow into my life to influence me? Who do I listen to? Am I suppressing the knowledge that I have in any way like Roscuro? Have I allowed myself to be a little evil, to allow others to suffer because of my own suffering? Botticelli Remorso to me is the voice of the devil here. Where am I? Where are you?